» Blog Archive » Birth Pains and Transitions

Birth Pains and Transitions

Being pregnant is such an interesting experience. Of course, there is the indescribable joy and awe of being a part of growing and bringing a new Light Being to the planet (mixed in with some whining about the loss of my waist and the ever-shrinking aisles in the grocery store…I just KNOW they got smaller the last few months…)

There is also fear…”can I really do this, at this time…in this way?”…a deep knowing of what is to come…sleepless nights, rough trips to the grocery store, potty training, the first day of school, adolescence, the need to have the last word, learning how to drive…(pause while I take a deep breath…)

Can I be a good mother and balance all of the craziness that is my life…again…with this lone child at the end of a chain of five kids?

The end of pregnancy is one long contraction, a deep going inward that occupies most of your thinking and feeling space inside of you. As my belly is growing and I move towards the birth of my child, all of the details of life seem to disappear.

I call it pregnant-brain syndrome. (I spend a lot of time walking up and down stairs wondering just what I came up or down for…)

I write all the details down now. My desk is flooded with little notes to myself. But, in spite of my diligence, I mostly ignore these notes. It’s not that I don’t want to stay on top of things. It’s just that I am in a highly refined simplistic mode.

As my brain and my consciousness contract, my heart is simultaneously expanding. It is so clear to me that the true point of life, or at least my life, is to live and breathe love. And right now, all the little details and even irritations don’t seem to matter.

I am focused on birthing a child and with that I know I am on the cusp of a new Big Love.

I remember the shock I felt when I had my first child. I wasn’t prepared to love so deeply and so violently. As I stared at my beautiful curly-headed, chubby, blonde baby I would have terrible fantasies about what lengths I would go through to save him if something should happen to him.

The love of a parent gives you the courage and the strength to throw yourself down in front of a moving truck to protect your child if need be. Some call is biological imperative.

I think its love.

Love is simple, but complicated. Some of our greatest acts of love are our most painful. Certainly there is no greater arena than parenting that teaches us to let go and enjoy the departing flight of our loved ones as they leave the proverbial nest.

Oh, yes, we want them to stay. Oh, yes, we want to grab their tail feathers and beg them to come back or take us with them.

But if we succeed in holding them back, we are not acting out of love, only our own selfish need to not feel the bittersweet pain.

Isn’t it interesting how we struggle sometimes to commit these great acts of love in other parts of our lives? I am grateful to have been a mother. It certainly has made me a better friend and lover over the years. (Although letting go is still the part I hate the most…)

Childbirth is a big letting go. Those of you who have had the experience of birth know that you have no choice but to surrender to the process. The waves of “love at work” pulse through your body and you give in to an exquisite purposeful state that takes you the one of the biggest payoffs in life.

When I worked as a midwife, my clients who tried to keep control over the process always ended up with complications. If you don’t give in to the process, the process will take over and force you to surrender.

I always felt like birth was bigger than me. The process called me forth to serve my part but I was simply a piece of a Divine Plan.

The hardest part in labor is called transition. These are the last few centimeters of dilation before pushing. Personally, I don’t care what Lamaze teaches. It hurts like hell.

But, if you surrender, trust the process, you are in an altered conscious flow and the pain is manageable.

The first time I gave birth, I thought I was going to die during transition. No joking here. I begged my midwife to call an ambulance and take me to the hospital.

She simply smiled and said to me, “Take it one contraction at a time.”

Those words still echo in my spirit 18 years later. Take it one contraction at a time, has been my mantra for any transition that I’ve gone through.

Last night in my Inside the Body of God class we talked about our stories and the myth of perfection. Isn’t it funny how so many of us carry old stories and programming about getting Life “right” (…as if Life has this linear progression from birth to death, kind of like the “chain of being” evolution graphics in our old biology textbooks)?

As Lightworkers, so many of us buy into the myth that we have to navigate growth and change “perfectly”, keeping a smile on our face and always thinking positive.

Ugh. Let’s face it. Sometimes it’s hard and you want to call an ambulance and get some good drugs.

Evolution has never been linear. Several adaptions and mutations appear simultaneously. Many variations on a theme are always present. And some adaptions and mutations don’t work.

Growth, like evolution is never linear. It’s more cyclical. We deal with an issue, evolve and then we deal with a new variation on the issue.

Ultimately, deep down underneath it all, we are all simply having a human, third dimensional experience in learning to trust God.

And trusting God means that we are also learning that underneath all of this experience is only Love.

Pure Unconditional Love.

(That doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences and reactions to our actions. But we are always Love and Loved.)

What does that mean, really?

Being pregnant, I like to keep it simple. If you go back to the Torah, or the Old Testament, I think the whole journey of Life can be summed up in the story of Manna.

As the Israelites are wandering in the desert scared and worried about food and water, God gives them (us) the following instructions:

1. Don’t worry. I’ve got it handled. Everyday I will give you Manna. Manna is the perfect food. You can make it taste like anything you want and it will nourish you completely.

2. Don’t take more than you need. I’ll always give you enough and more on the next day. If you hoard Manna, it will simply rot.

3. If you need extra for a sick brother or sister, I will provide extra.

4. Your only job is to gather the Manna. You have to do the work.

5. On every sixth day, I will give you extra Manna so you can rest and enjoy the magnificence of Life on the seventh day.

Pretty simple, huh?

There is a cycle here. Each and every day you can choose to experience Manna in a new way. You’re always supported. Don’t change the rhythm or the cycle. At the end of each cycle you are given time to go in and reflect and then start over.

Our lives are cycles revolving around birth and death, cycles of renewal, cleansing, growth and endings.

We can easily grow and evolve when we align with the cycles. It’s when we resist the cycles (especially the starts and endings) that Life forces us to submit in more challenging ways. It is sublimely simple but easily made complicated.

This week I invite you to surrender to the cycles of your life and your reality. Accept the beauty of where you are in your life cycle, whether you are cleansing, purging and renewing or growing, expanding or even ending.

Love yourself as you move through change and transition. There is no “perfect” way to navigate through it all. It’s okay to scream and have a temper tantrum if that’s what it takes to get to the other side. Releasing that energy only makes room for clarity and peace.

Each step in your journey is really about growth and expansion. Remember to take the contractions of transition, one contraction at a time.

May you remember this week to Trust and know you are fully supported on your journey and may you remember that deep underneath all of this experience is really only the grandest expression of pure, unconditional Love.

Love,
Karen

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 7:11 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

12 Responses to “Birth Pains and Transitions”

Keichelle Says:
April 28th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Your a beautiful writer, speaker and very soon you will become once again a beautiful mama of a brand spankin new, beautiful baby. I love reading your blogs.
Thank you for being you!

Keichelle
Linda Bissin Says:
April 28th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
just to let you know, you can do it at this point in your life. At 53 I decided to do it all over again. Having already raised five children. I see you receiving the greatest blessing of your life. Mine has been one of my greatest joys. She has been a beautiful interesting,amazing, girl who is gifted and telented in so many ways. A Manifestor type who has taught me how to encourage her strategy and in doing so I have a delightful happy child. I THINK YOU ARE AMAZING KAREN in every way….much love to you.
Esther Says:
April 28th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Dear Karen,
What a beautiful post. Such a deep insight into motherhood, it really touched me. Especially the letting go, as my own children are leaving the nest.
For the new baby, and if you’re interested, please visit
http://www.all-gifted-children.com, and contact me if you’d like my package “The Manual Your Child Should Have Come With - How to Develop Your Child’s Genius” as a present for your child’s birth (or even before).
Esther
John Says:
April 28th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
I don’t know nuthin bout birthin no babies. Ms. Karen. But, I know I love you.

Peace be with you and your family!

John
Ruthanne Carosio Says:
April 28th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Dear Karen,
Thank you for your inspiring words today. And I send my love and blessings in the coming transition and transformation. May blessings fall like rain upon you and your family. Much love, Ruthanne
Kirsten Says:
April 29th, 2009 at 1:39 am
Karen,
I am dumbfounded at your ability to go through this pregnancy supporting all of us! Your blog is always clear and loving. May you and all of your children be blessed with peace and love as you take it one contraction at a time.
Thank you!
Kirsten
Elana Says:
April 29th, 2009 at 4:43 am
I always enjoy your posts, but this one was especially beautiful. Your gift for writing from the heart of a matter is simply profound. I wish you many Blessings as wonders continue to unfold. Elana
Grace Lobermier Says:
April 29th, 2009 at 4:48 am
Dear Karen,
I wish you all the love you could ever receive. I can remember having all 5 of my children. Each and everyone was special to me as yours are to you. Your bundle of joy will come and be a blessing to all who knows her/him. I first wrote her. Do you know yet what the baby is?
I am sure as a Light worker you already know what her/his purpose in life is. I know you know about the Crystal and Rainbow children and that you will have the greatest gift of all arrive shortly. You support all of us but we return it 10+ fold back to you. You are a fantastic writer and I appreciate hearing all you have to say.
God Bless You and Your Family,
Grace
Rosemary Heenan Says:
April 29th, 2009 at 6:08 am
Karen. this is an inspiring and profound post. There is an immense wisdom here. Thank you.
Warmest regards,
Rosemary Heenan
Marie Says:
April 29th, 2009 at 6:43 am
Karen-
It is so inspiring to see your embracing of motherhood. My heart warms when I see women over 35 having children (my Mom was had my brothers and I between her ages of 40-42, I’m now 47 and she was quite a path paver back in her day).
Knowing that you’re eating for 2 these days, I’ve included 6 excerpts from my new ebook (the download comes with a free audio version of it).
Are you wondering how to get maximum nourishment from your diet? Do you view your body as the temple and vehicle for your soul to experience 3D life in yet could use some pointers for how to feed it? Below is helpful information on optimizing your diet from “Your Health = Your pH: How To Reverse Illness & Gain Vitality” available for download only at http://www.livelifewellinfo.com .

“When buying produce opt for organic whenever possible. (Although organic is more expensive, in comparison to the cost of cancer it’s a small but wise investment.) Organic produce has a 75% higher mineral content than non-organic counterparts. Be sure to avoid genetically-modified produce. (Genetically-modified fruits and vegetables have been altered through genetic engineering - such as tomato seed genes spliced with fish genes and pesticides inserted into their genetic material). Note that this is not the case with hybrid produce (blending breeds) or heirloom (defined as the seed of a vegetable having been saved and grown over a period of years to attain a superior crop).”
“For times when juicing isn’t practical, keep green powder drinks on hand. Most of them are loaded with concentrated vegetables and grasses and you prepare them by mixing a spoonful of powder with water. Drinking them is an easy way to get a strong alkalinizing infusion of nutrients. There are an abundance of brands available (look for organic). For those who travel frequently, many brands are available in individual serving packets. Several brands are gluten-free for those who are sensitive to gluten.”
“Seaweeds help push heavy metals out of the body tissues. Seaweeds are highly nutritious. For example, wakame has more vitamin B12 than beef and kombu has twice as much B12 as eggs. Unlike fish, few toxins are absorbed by sea vegetables. You can use seaweeds in flake form as a salt substitute or crumple them onto soups or salads so that you gain their benefits from just a small amount.”
“Seafood is unfortunately becoming less of a healthy choice due to the contamination of our oceans with chemical pollutants. The F.D.A. warns against eating large fish specified as swordfish, shark, mackerel, and tuna due to their elevated levels of mercury and P.C.B.’s. (Large predatory fish get a greater dose of toxins because of their ingestion of smaller fish.) Absolutely avoid farmed fish—because they are raised in densely-populated, confined areas they are prone to disease and injury. Despite all the antibiotics and chemicals they are fed, they often are plagued by lice, parasites, and gill infections. (Most seafood served in restaurants were farm raised.) Shellfish, such as shrimp and crab, are scavenging bottom-feeders which are more vulnerable to pollutants. Opt for cod, halibut, salmon, tilapia, or pollock.”
“Substitute healthy fats and oils for trans fats. The taste is better (for example ghee is quite rich), and your mineral absorption from the foods you’re eating them with will be enhanced. In 2001, Harvard released its 14 year study on 84,000 women in which it concluded that substituting butter for trans fats cut the risk of type 2 diabetes by 40%. Oils containing omega 3s, such as flax and cod liver, are necessary for joint lubrication, healthy brain function, and skin protection. The New England Journal of Medicine published a 17 year study on men in which it found that those with the highest blood levels of omega 3 fats were more than 80% less likely than their counterparts to die suddenly from heart disease. Be aware that if an omega 3 oil is ingested over long periods of time without being in proper ratio to other oils (our bodies need twice as much omega 6 to omega 3), the result can be a deficiency of omega 6 oils (found in seeds and nuts). Omega 3, 6, and 9 oils are often referred to as “essential” because our bodies can’t manufacture them.”
“Heating most oils through cooking renders them unstable and rancid, however coconut oil remains healthful. The medium-chain fatty acids contained within coconut oil are anti-viral, anti-bacterial, and speed up metabolism. (Most partially hydrogenated vegetable oils contain soybean oil which depresses the thyroid- contributing to exhaustion and weight gain). Throw out all hydrogenated trans fats (margarine, shortening, etc…) and replace them with healthy alternatives such as butter, olive oil, coconut oil, and avocado oil.”
http://www.livelifewellinfo.com
Roma Says:
April 29th, 2009 at 6:55 am
Dear Karen,
Thank you for so eloquently putting into words your thoughts and feelings on motherhood & childbirth. My heart is deeply touched by what you said. I gave birth to my boys 12 & 14 years ago but it seems like just yesterday I had similar thoughts and doubts. I feel & hear that your faith and love are far greater than any doubts you have. We all have the tools we need to be able to handle life with the power of love and grace.
Endless Blessings!
Roma
Asha Says:
April 29th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
It’s amazing how inspiring writing is when we are about to give birth.

Just beautiful!

Asha

p.s. sorry I missed class… I spaced it.. hmm, maybe I’m pregnant! just kidding.

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Birth Pains and Transitions

12 Responses to “Birth Pains and Transitions”

Leave a Reply